To my brothers in Christ.
I write this open letter to you due to a rising concern about the purity of all men in God’s Kingdom.
These days, many Christian men have lost all comprehension of living a life of purity. In fact, the word purity is hardly ever used, even in the modern church. Men are continually bombarded with images of semi-nude women wherever they turn. From ads on TV and social media to walking through the local shopping centre or even taking a stroll on the beach. These constant images saturate the mind.
Unfortunately, we have all been sold a number of lies. Over the years, from boyhood through teenagerhood to manhood. We have been drip-fed lies. As we age, we become desensitized, and the lies become more and more reinforced in our thinking. They are confirmed by our struggles and experiences of the world around us, and as we look at other Christian men, we confirm what we now believe to be our new reality. So, what are these lies?
The Worlds’ Big Lie vs. Gods Standards
The main lie is that purity is unattainable and out of reach. We think it may have been attainable to men of earlier and more conservative generations. However, since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, any hope of walking out a pure life has been dashed.
God sets a very high standard when it comes to sexual purity. Perhaps the best example is found in Ephesians 5:3, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Now that’s a high standard. No ifs, no but, not even a hint. So, why such a high standard? Has God set the bar too high?
God’s standard comes from His wisdom. He knows that if we allow even a hint of sexual immorality into our lives, we are opening a door that will be difficult to close. He knows our level of temptation in this area and how easily a man can fall away. Men are aroused by what they see and can retain sexual images in the recesses of their minds for weeks, months, or even years.
The Road To Ruin is Wide and Easy
We make excuses and let in more than a hint. We allow ourselves a few indulgences now and again. We let our guard down. Just as we enjoy a small amount of time relaxing, watching Netflix, eating chocolate and perhaps a red wine with dinner. In the same way we allow ourselves indulgences of sexual gratification. We indulge in watching nudity or sex scene in the latest blockbuster movie, a glance at that skimpy jogger as she passes by, or a quick look at pornographic images so easily accessed on our smartphone.
As time passes, and as we continue to allow ourselves these small indulgences, a habit is formed. Our belief system is compromised. ‘It’s no big deal,’ we tell ourselves. ‘Everyone does it.’ ‘It won’t hurt me,’ ‘I only do it occasionally.’ Eventually, we have allowed in even more than a hint of sexual immorality.
For many, a lifelong struggle has now begun in the heart and mind that is not easily overcome.
As sexual sin infiltrates the mind, it begins to captivate one’s heart over time.
Can We Change and Have Breakthrough?
So, how do men find a breakthrough in this area of their lives? The answer is found in God’s Word.
In Romans 1, verse 25. There are two parts to this verse.
Part 1
The first part says we have ‘exchanged the truth of God for a lie.’ Over time, we have developed wrong beliefs and assumptions about God. We may feel let down by Him and by others. However these lies penetrate, we begin to act on these wrong beliefs.
Sadly, we started our Christian journey believing that God is all we need, and He can be all satisfying. But over time, so many competing voices in the world challenged that assumption. It became difficult to let go of everything the world offers and find true satisfaction in Him. We begin to believe the lie that we need to look elsewhere for satisfaction.
The breakthrough comes as we turn back to God and believe His word. Believing what He says about Himself and rejecting the lies of this world. God’s word is truth, and as we press into Him and seek after Him above all else, we begin to believe again that gaining freedom and victory over this sin is possible. But, we must take His word as truth and believe what it says. We must begin to live by those truths and stand on them.
Part 2
The second part of Romans 1 verse 12 says that we have ‘worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator.’ This is the heart of the problem.
Our heart is no longer sold out for God. Rather, it is divided. As we believe the lies that ‘everyone does it, its no big deal, no one can truly walk a pure life,’ we allow in compromise.
We are now worshiping God and worship lust at the same time. We are doing what God explicitly instructed the Israelites not to do. We are worshiping the idols of the world around us. We are now on a slippery slide away from worship of the true God towards potential destruction.
If we are to find a breakthrough in this area, we must recognise that this is a heart issue. We must be so captivated by God, that we no longer want sin in our lives. When our heart is sold out for God, we begin to hate sin, we detest it. Why would we choose sin when our hearts are fully satisfied by the almighty God who loves us and is there for us, even in our darkest moments?
Our Breakthrough Comes Through Jesus Christ
Breakthrough involves understanding who we are as believers. We are children of God. This is our position in God and this does not change. We all have a position in our families. We are fathers, sons, daughters, and grandchildren. Positionally, we are God’s own sons and daughters. He loves us as His own adopted Children. We belong to Him and He does not stop loving us. Although we are unfaithful, He remains faithful. For transformation to take place, we must have a complete understanding of who we are as His children. Our identity, values and purpose are more clearly defined from the position of who we are as children of God.
The truth is, Jesus came to set the captives free (Luke 4: 18). His grace is sufficient for us, even in our present situation and struggles (2 Corinthians 12: 9). Jesus conquered sin once for all and he made a way for us to stand firm and overcome in the midst of trials and temptation (2 Corinthians 10: 13). There is hope for every one of us. As believers we are not destined to live in a continual cycle of sin. We must find our strength in Jesus and if we put the word of God to the test, we will find in it the truth we need to experience freedom and victory so that we can honestly say ‘I am not allowing even a hint of sexual immorality in my life.’
By Greg O’Neil